© RussianMade.com
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Following close on the heels of the government takeover of Wall Street came a startling announcement from the Republican Party. In a total repudiation of their conservative guiding principles, the hard-right, hands-off-my-market, taxes-are-for-wimps wing announced their overnight conversion to Socialism. Adopting the symbol of their newly-found religion, sources inside Russia confirm they have placed an order with the above-named company for 1.2 million new lapel pins to replace the now-outdated (and wimpy) "old", "quaint" flag of the United States.

Rumor has it that celebrations have been planned in support of this newly-minted "flip-side-economics" policy in Moscow and Beijing, and a measure of support has already been introduced in the Russian Duma. Guiding lights in the conservative movement - who declined to speak on the record - claimed this action was in complete conformance with the Party's motto of "privatize assets, socialize liabilities".

Another source, who shall remain dead, was quoted as saying: "when the going gets weird, the weird turn pro". Fits the "new" American Republican Socialist (ARSE) Party: The Few, The Proud, The Professionally Weird.
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[Note: The Obama campaign (off-the-record) labeled the new policy "21 Gramms" - ed.]