Image © 20th Century Fox @ Foxmovies.au
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In a last-ditch effort to recover the brains of CSRs*, a team of forensic proctologists were reduced to the size of large molecules, transferred into glasses filled with liquor, placed on a giant table in the 'reep' caucus room with "Drink Me" signs taped to the outsides, and consumed by the swollen-headed (though somewhat dim) members.
As the first teams reached the cranial cavity they began to send back images of vast empty spaces with only a few marginally connected blood vessels - a huge echo chamber with absolutely no brain mass. Teams eight and fourteen had - luckily as it turns out - been unable to escape the pull of the large intestine, and so nearing the exit orifice almost crashed into a gray millimeters-in-diameter mass directly connected to the walls of the bowel. The brains had been found!
After careful review, and on the advice of the Commander of the Expedition they were instructed to leave them as they found them, owing to the risk of sudden shock should the brains be reconnected using a full-power-restart.
"They seem to have been functioning that way for decades, so better leave well enough alone", she said.
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*California Senate Republicans, ca. 2008. For the life imitating fiction see:
- Aurelio Rojas/sacbee: Budget defeated in Senate
- Jim Sanders/sacbee: GOP lawmakers put 'no new taxes' pledge in writing
