Fake news video true story from the Onion, in humor diary about facebook being a CIA program

Written for the phazebooq group @ the daily kos.

According to a recent report from the Onion fake news report Mark Zuckerman won a medial from the CIA for his work with face book. Of course it is not true but it is true.
Are you feeling confused.

The Eve of Destruction...Paging Harold Camping.


OK - so, now that the Rapture has come and gone, has anyone seen Harold Camping, or are the rumors true that all that's been found of Harold so far is a spittle-encrusted note that reads:

If you are reading this, you have been found wanting and left behind. - H.C.

Ideally, I'd like it if he took Pat, Rush, Sean and a few others with him...not to some other worldly paradise, of course, but instead to hide on some tiny island somewhere in the Caribbean...

While folks are sorting out whether or not the Rapture occurred and if they've been found wanting or not, here's a tune to entertain those folks still waiting for the "appointed time" to come. Enjoy!


Happy Rapturing, everyone. See ya on the flip side...


BTW - has anyone bothered to point out Matthew 24:36?



Let's Play "Une fausse piste: Sardonic Sweetmeat Edition"

It appears that the influx of new Republican governors and bolstered numbers in both Congress and various state legislatures has led to a merry round of "screw the people" all under the faux auspices of budgetary due-diligence and fiscal responsibility. The biggest, most blatant example of GOP (and teabagger) hypocrisy is currently front-paged on DailyKos, neatly summarized with a side-helping of snark:

With all of the crocodile tears Republicans are shedding over the budget, you'd think they'd be more concerned about publicly wasting the taxpayers' dollars because Fitzgerald heard a rumor.

This, of course, has to do with Senate Majority Leader Scott Fitzgerald (R-Juneau) sending Wisconsin State Troopers to the homes of the "missing" 14 Senate Democrats this morning. And it reminds me of a game...

The Immortalization of William "Bill" O'Reilly (SRSLY!)

Yes, folks, it's true: Bill O'Reilly is becoming an immortal. But don't fret -- it's not like he'll become a stalwart bastion of conservative ideology. He's instead gone the way of "stalwart bastion of ridicule" and created an immortal (and hilariously appropriate) new internet meme:

The animated ORLY? You Can't Explain That.

A post over at GeekOSystem tells the story:

Last month, Fox News host Bill O'Reilly stepped into instant Internet infamy when, in a debate with American Atheists president David Silverman, O'Reilly attempted to prove the existence of God by citing the mystery of the tides: "I'll tell you why not a scam, in my opinion. Tide goes in, tide goes out. Never a miscommunication. You can't explain that. You can't explain why the tide goes in." Only one problem: There's this thing called the Moon which might have a little to do with tides.

Bill-O wasn't expecting to actually get an answer, never mind a complete - and polite - utter smackdown. And now, he's achieved the ultimate in unintended consequences: he has, in his arrogance, created a meme that will likely survive him and find its way into a myriad of modern day pop-culture expressions.

Amazingly, I'll bet he can't explain that, either.

h/t Opinions Unrestrained.


The Incredible, Heartless, No-Pulse 'Deadeye' Dick Cheney

So, did you hear that he officially has no pulse now?

That doesn't seem to surprise many people, does it?

The official explanation is that a device -- a pump of some type -- was installed into his heart (?!?) after he'd experienced worsening conditions of congestive heart failure (CHF). The truth is, he hasn't ~really~ had a pulse in decades. This is just the best new way to disguise that.

(Make the jump for more heartless cruelty at Dick's expense, but on ePluribus Media's, servers.)

Open Thread - ePluribus Media Blogger Causes 120 Million Dollars In Lost Worker Productivity

Ok... Maybe standingup isn't quite a Financial Weapon of Mass Destruction and only contributed a bit to that loss in productivity when posting the "Sunday Morning Photo and Open Thread" on the playable Google Pacman logo:

And a happy 30th birthday to Pac Man! Google stirred up quite a response yesterday when they replaced their logo with a google doodle celebrating the anniversary of one of the most popular video games ever. The twist on this doodle is the "Insert Coin" button which transforms the doodle into a live version of the video favorite. See for yourself, while it lasts at

Via the BBC we find out that a firm making software that tracks what workers do online, Rescue Time, estimates millions of hours wasted on playing the game:

Extrapolating this up across the 504 million unique users who visit the main Google page day-to-day, this represents an increase of 4.8 million hours - equal to about 549 years.

In dollar terms, assuming people are paid $25 (£17.50) an hour, this equates to about $120m in lost productivity, the firm said.

That amount of money also adds up to about 6 weeks of Google's payroll. FYI: The game proved to be so popular that  Google gave Pacman a permanent page where you can play it whenever you want - but don't tell your boss I sent you there from this Open Thread....

If Pop Culture Influenced Insurance Eligibility: Twelve Potential Reasons You Might Get Denied

Hat-tip ametrine of DelphiForums.

With healthcare and insurance reform still topping the charts as hot topics, Jimmy Wellington of The Fake News blog posted a good bit of snarky humor: Woman Denied Health Coverage After Chance Encounter With Jack Bauer

Below are the top 12 pre-existing conditions for which someone could get denied health coverage in Jimmy's piece -- but do go read the whole thing.

  1. Do you ever beam down to an alien planet while wearing a red shirt?
  2. Does your boyfriend or relative have supernatural powers that he uses to save innocent people on a regular basis?
  3. Do you do menial work for the Dharma Initiative?
  4. Is your best friend a werewolf?
  5. Are you a black person who finds themselves and their group of white friends in a scary or supernatural situation?
  6. Do you ever find yourself between Al Sharpton and a camera?
  7. When the entire world blacks out and sees 6 months into the future, did you see nothing?
  8. Does your school librarian keep many books about witchcraft, werewolves, and, most importantly, vampires?
  9. Have you recently seen a car with two good-looking FBI agents and a lot of sexual tension between them?
  10. Are you frequently in a car driven by a member of the Kennedy family?
  11. Have you seen a 1950’s British Police Box in your neighborhood – especially if you don’t live in the 1950s or Britain?
  12. Did you have a dream of you and all your friends dying in a horrible accident, but told everyone about your premonition and saved most of you?

I must say, perhaps I'm a tad prudish but I wasn't overly fond of the Kennedy reference -- p'raps because of the relatively recent passing of Senator Kennedy, and need for MA residents to elect someone to finish his term. But otherwise, my favorite references were the red-shirt and Doctor Who ones...yeah, I'm a sci-fi nut.

Anywho, those ought to give folks a few moments of illusory enjoyment before the crushing realities of the day encroach on our minds once again...

Summer (Re-Education) Camp for Bachmann's kid!

As you might recall, America’s favorite loon and future resident of Bedlam, Bachmann-the-Nut last spring announced that our president, the Citizen of Kenya, Language-of-the-Koran-speaking, Closet-Muslim, socialist, magic-negro overlord and re-education camp counselor, was setting up ACORN-sponsored re-education camps to indoctrinate the youth of American into a life of depraved goody-two-shoes-ism, and probably make them all Swine Flu carriers, to boot.

Well, guess whose son, Harrison Bachmann, has joined Teach for America, which is part of the Ameri-Corps re-education camps? If you Guessed Bachmann-the-Nut give yourself a gold star!

Harrison is such a disappointment to her that I’m sure now he will fill out his Census information, too. The shame, the shame…

(Crossposted from Mock Paper Scissors.)

Swine Flu Nonsense Round Up

An amazing amount of gibberish has been uttered about swine flu 2009 H1N1 virus in recent days. I would like to share some highlights (including antics of Collins and Perry) along with links to one or two items that actually make sense.

Ellinorianne and Fish Out of Water have both written excellent diaries about Smithfield Farms possible involvement in the outbreak of flu in Mexico.

A number of organizations have been warning about the dangers of factory farming in the west, and the role farming may have played in the first outbreaks in Asia of Avian flu. The Pew Commission on Industrial Farm Production published a report a year ago warning of the environmental dangers of factory farms.  

Pandora's Pond detailed the role of contaminated water in the genesis of Asian bird flu. The gist of the article is that fish farms were located in close proximity to pigs and chickens, and human excrement was added to the water for enrichment. Humans, pigs and chickens can exchange the influenza virus. The excrement in the water spread a human strain of influenza to wild birds who then infected chickens. Pigs ate the chicken poop. The cycling of the virus between pigs, chickens and wild birds allowed an extremely virulent form of flu to pass from birds to humans. Fortunately, it was never easily spread from human to human.

CANNED! (A Story about food written for Orangeclouds115)

This story is written dedicated to Orangeclouds who lost her job but has the best damn food blog on the web. Drop in, pre-order her book and check out exmearden's ad. 2009-03-18 09:08:51 -0500. Bumped by carol.

I did my penance in tomatoes.

I had been looking forward to Orangeclouds' Local Food Party in Austin for months. Months! I had read Barbara Kingsolver's Book, Animal, Vegetable, Miracle in preparation. I'd had orgasms thinking about all the networking I would do. And then, the night of OC's party, I simply forgot to go.

After transcribing most of Orangeclouds' excellent panel on food policy verbatim, old eating habits took over and I went out for Chinese food. It was like one of those dreams where you forget  to take your college entrance exams. Except it was real.

Ayn Rand's Ghost Responds: "F**k You!"

Bumped and promoted. Originally posted 2009-03-16 17:59:47 -0500. -- GH

  VAHALLA, NY.  Recently, there has been a stream of people quoting Ayn Rand and her novel, Atlas Shrugged as justification for the economic policies that created the current financial crisis. Ms. Rand's polemic novel which assaulted altruism and government has been quoted and promoted by CEO's, government officials, lobbyists as well as print, radio and television - and apparently, they've all got it wrong.

The source of this claim?  None other than the ghost of Ayn Rand herself, who recently appeared near her tombstone in Kensico Cemetery.  According to several witnesses, the image of Ms. Rand first appeared several weeks ago.  Initial observers assumed that the spirit was simply another CEO come to Ms. Rand's tombstone to meditate and give herself permission to lie, cheat and steal in the name of some Libertarian higher moral code.

Al Qaeda Leadership Gather For Secret Meeting. "EFCA is The Great Satan!"

Promoted. -- GH

Osamas press conference in Muscat.

"The only good union is a dead union!" Osama bin Laden stated in prepared remarks today.

DATELINE MUSCAT, OMAN: Another shocking revelation of anti-Union plotting and scheming today, but this time it was not CEO's of TARP Bailout recipient banks
The attendees?  Senior Al Qaeda management, including Osama bin Laden,
Ayman al-Zawahiri and over two dozen more senior managers.  It marked a
historic first time for so many senior managers from Al Qaeda to be in
one place at the same time. Under normal circumstances and for security
reasons, Al Qaeda leaders are not allowed within 50 miles of each other
but desperate times call for desperate measures.

Set in the sleepy seaside town of Old Muscat, a city that has seen
better days.  Over the centuries, Muscat has served as a seat of
government and a door way to trade between Asia, Africa and Eastern
Europe.  The walls of the old city look out over the bay like bleached
bones, preserved in the salt and dry air.  The people that remain here,
do so stubbornly, like the wild trees and bushes that eke out their
existence along the rocky shoreline, sandwiched between ocean and
desert, buffeted by wind and heat.  The old market is still here, but
only locals trade there.  Dubai, with its glimmering towers and huge,
modern port facilities has rendered Muscat into merely a side trip for
the curious.  The Al Qaeda leadership meeting here, would very much
like to avoid becoming another Muscat.