Fake news video true story from the Onion, in humor diary about facebook being a CIA program

Written for the phazebooq group @ the daily kos.

According to a recent report from the Onion fake news report Mark Zuckerman won a medial from the CIA for his work with face book. Of course it is not true but it is true.
Are you feeling confused.

The Onion News commentator Brooke Alvarez reports that the US Congress voted to extend the CIA's massive surveillance program over at Facebook. To see your tax dollars hard at work this diary invites you to watch the embedded Youtube video at the bottom of this diary for the full story. For those of you who can't watch this video, because you're still on dial up or on some low tech wi fi handheld, this writer invites you to read this diary video review.

Phony facts ring true!

The Onion reports that according to Homeland Security sources Facebook has pretty much replaced every other surveillance program run by the US government as reported by Onion spokeswoman Brooke Alvarez.

"We were astounded that so many people would willingly publicize where they lived, their religious and political views, alphabetized lists of all their friends, personal email addresses, phone numbers, hundreds of photos of themselves, and even status updates of what they were doing moment to moment. It is truly a dream come true for the CIA.
Quote by Christopher Sartinsky, Deputy CIA Director "

The Onion goes onto falsely that is to say tongue and cheek fashion to report that Mark Zuckerberg is a CIA agent, and as such that he has been nominated for the prestigious Medal of Intelligence Commendation.

The truth is of course that Mark Zuckerberg is not eligible for the CIA's Medal of Intelligence Commendation award because he's not really a CIA agent. As an unofficial CIA contractor he is not eligible for the coveted CIA medal. Instead he has been decorated with what is known as the public's 1%ER billionaire brat award, wherein the public picks some young brat and votes them with their dollars to the ranks of billionaire brat, for facilitating CIA intrusion into their lives, friends circles, email addresses and personal photographs. All of which will be archived at taxpayer expense on CIA owned Cray supercomputers for data mining archeologists to discover hundreds or even thousands of years from now, all of whom will wonder about the priorities of funding.

This at a time in American history when 59 million people have no health insurance; 45 million are on food stamps and 132 million Americans have no dental access in a posture (wherein every other major industrialized country in the world has cradle to grave universal medical, dental and doesn't degrade or infantilize people with food stamp programs).

At which point watching this Onion fake news report will make perfect sense to them, as it does the other currently living 6 billion other people on the planet today.

Likewise the Onion fake news report misdirects its viewers into believing that Facebook has launched a pacification program called Farmville to distract Americans from rising unemployment rates. The fact is we all know that isn't true, because Fox news has bought the monopoly on government disinformation in a clear posture wherein Fairleigh Dickinson University studies have shown that Fox news viewers are less well informed than people who watch no news at all!

Brooke says Jason, you've written about the Facebook program why is it so effective?

Jason Copeland says one of the key reasons is the CIA has been so thorough in
convincing people that sharing your information and everything you're doing is
somehow desirable.

Brooke says, with the national deficit being so high is it really the time to
spend even more money on spy programs?

Duncan Birch says: The Facebook program saves the CIA money, like the maps
application which lists every place you've been, whether it's a state or a

Lauralee Hickok says: And the little pins which shows

Birch says: It would save the CIA months of going through hotel receipts,
plane tickets to figure it all out. This saves the CIA thousands of hours in

Copeland: The calendar feature even lets the CIA know where you're going to be
in advance.

Brooke says: So if they want to pick you up for questioning all they have to do is see what events you RSVPed to and their agents will be there waiting for you.

Copeland says: That's how they got my brother.


While here our fact checker runs into a problem because here at least the fake news onion report is completely truthful and accurate, but what we can say is that we are now able to offer the public an alternative. Which is a new group at the Daily Kos called phazebooq, we are CIA tamper proof, because well we're low tech. We have no maps function and that's an important low tech security feature that we offer to our members, and of course we save the CIA no money and perhaps most importantly we do not make the billionaire brat Mark Zuckerberg any richer. Incidentally did you know that Zuckerberg is German for Sugar Mountain which in this exclusive Kos diary reveals Mark's true CIA code name which can be authoritatively reported, as I'm an American expat living in Germany who has cracked the translation code!

For anyone who doesn't want, to subscribe to Mark Sugar Mountain's 1% billionaire brat award CIA savings program, which is designed to hurt the 99%.

So this diary invites you to strike a blow for low tech democracy and join us at the Daily Kos phazebooq group today in support of the site's mission which is to elect better progressives to office in 2012, who don't support Mark Sugar Mountain and the other faceless 1 percenters who are drowning young people in student loan debt, while living in the basements of their parents' underwater mortgaged houses.

[Watch the video!]


(Cross posted by author from Street Prophets)

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