Moon's leaders declare war on Earth after attack by NASA

Reprinted with permission; original post here. -- GH

by Robert Gillis, who really has too much time on his hands.


Lunar officials declared war on Earth early Friday morning after NASA launched a preemptive strike on Cabeus Crater, home to thousands of Moonies, Moonites, and Moon-Units.

CNN had reported that NASA engineers crashed a rocket and a satellite into the moon's surface on Friday morning in a $79 million mission, to supposedly "kick up enough dust to find whether there is any water in the moon's soil."

Citizens of the Moon condemned the story as a cover-up by NASA to mask the real plot and intentions.

The moon news service, TMA-1, reported that the Centaur upper-stage rocket impacted the moon shortly after 7:30 a.m. EDT (27:11 Moon Standard Time), and the satellite followed it four minutes later, destroying the Moon’s capital city and injuring thousands of Moonites.

Lunar leaders called the attack, "A new day of infamy" and promised a swift response, as soon as the moon people develop space travel and modern technology.

Experts (Wikipedia) report that Cabeus crater lies in permanent shadow, making observations inside the crater difficult, and is home to several secret UFO bases.

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This attack was unprovoked and gratuitous.  The extensive network of perpetrators was in evidence also, with science students and teachers, not to mention the planners, taking the day off to gather in groups (perhaps "covens" is a better term), just to celebrate the event. 

While the "mooninite" salute image is a good symbol of resistance, one can only wonder if it was placed to mislead the reader.

Here is how we welcomed them.

Who among you can cast the first stone?

"Furthest from him is best, whom reason hath equaled, force hath made supreme above his equals." Milton