As of April 16th, 2008 all I knew for certain was that I could provide no one with any information about my health with any certainty. Oddly, living under the perpetual cloud of one step forward, one step back was not only familiar but oddly comforting for me. It was, after all, the one truism that I knew to be absolutely true, namely that everything good goes bad, everything alive dies and everything gained will be lost.
It still makes me knot up every time I hear the adage "What doesn’t kill you will only make you stronger." While this is truly a great Hallmark greeting card slogan for the Hemingway-esque sensibility, for the survivor of childhood trauma, it was a rather insensitive and frankly inapplicable suggestion.